Spork! How do I Love thee? Let me count the prongs...

What's gnew?

1. The shirts are here! Check out the Spork Gear page for details.

SPORK GEAR

The spork shirts are here! We're selling them for $7 a shirt, XL only at the moment. Check it out.

What is a spork?

Spork:

Blend of sp(oon sb. + f)ork sb. A proprietary name for a piece of cutlery combining the features of a spoon, fork, (and sometimes, knife). `Spork' is the colloquial term for `Runcible Spoon'

Patent Information:

1970 Official Gaz. (U.S. Patent Office) 11 Aug. tm 65 Van Brode Milling Co., Inc., Clinton, Mass... Spork for Combination Plastic Spoon, Fork and Knife.

Yet a spork is so much more than just a poor excuse for an eating utensil.

A spork is a perfect metaphor for human existance. It tries to function as both spoon and fork, and because of this dual nature, it fails miserably at both. You cannot have soup with a spork, it is far too shallow; you cannot eat meat with a spork, the prongs are too small.

What are uses for the spork?

As we know, a spork is completely innapropriate as an eating utensil, so the question arises: ``But then, what can I use a spork for?''

This is a 790 Kb AVI of me trying to eat ramen with a spork.

lololol

1. Pull out all but the edge prongs, rip off the handle, and stick it in your mouth. Instant Dracula!
2. Invert the spork (turn it into a foon) and load stuff into the depression and fire!
3. Foon your spork and lay it on the table with the arch up, then press on the high arc and release. Flying Foons!
4. Foon your spork and then spork your foon in rapid sucession...
5. (List continued as per original...)
6. Plus much much more...

What other people do with sporks.

• The band ``Soup'' threw out one thousand of them during shows.
• Dark Helmet suggests the ``Spork War''...
• John Bragg likes to paint them gold and put them behind his ear, so he can be a ``Spork Pimp''.

What's all this I'm hearing about `Foons?'

A foon is the inverse of the spork, and is created through a process known as fooning.

1. Place your thumb on the bottom curve of the spork
2. Gently push in with the thumb until the spork is inverted

This is a 1.3 meg AVI of my good friend Terry making a foon.